My six year old neighbour, Dexter, told me this crazy plant at the front of my yard grows dragons… that is, *if* (and he says this “if” with great caution) IF I dare cut any of this rapidly growing plant down. He proceeded to share an elaborate story about how…

TORONTO — A gaze of raccoons congregated around Toronto City Hall’s dumpsters today in protest of what they say are, derogatory slurs of, “our fellow Procyon lotors and it will not be tolerated”, chittered representative Ricky the Raccoon, who argued that the ‘trash panda’ reference forces the four-legged mammals into…

recollections of my father falling into the Capilano River when I was four I can’t make it to the top without the pull from my sister. The round rocks slippery from the green stuff that floats in the river keep makin’ my sneakers stick between. Mucks them up. I gotta…

JEANINE’S FIRST CHRISTMAS FAIR Jeanine’s display is in the back room of the warehouse. She sits atop a stool too high for her plump little legs, but her clog heels dangle on the stool’s step and balance her upright. Her purple bangs fall between her face and glasses. It makes…

I’ve been dead a few times. Three I think. A vet. A physiotherapist. A town council person. My favorite is a Rockette. That’s new. A divorce attorney. I thought that would come in handy a few times. She wanted all of my domains but I never gave them to her…

— A short story on Canadian memories We sat on damp cobble stairs outside Club Amnesia (I used a fake ID) in Gastown for hours. Probably twenty minutes. Alcohol steals time and memory. It can be equally generous and give it back. But it’s mostly a thief. One, two, three…

(based off a Tweet that went crazy viral on Buzzfeed, Man Repeller and beyond…)

Her veil was too long. They walked up the cathedral steps in accidental unison. She was careful not to trip and held her free hand over her stomach, felt a fleeting flutter of maternal instinct, or maybe nerves. A push of the revolver head on her spine kept her moving…